Top Ten List of Environmentally Correct Things To Do After Getting Someone To Pull Your Finger:
10. Shake your head violently up and down and say, "Look! The old Me has been replaced by a greener, cleaner Bobble-Head version of myself!"
09. Shrug mournfully and say, "Sorry, my job has been out-sourced to low-wage workers in Asia."
08. Say: "Who's there.Oh, sorry! Now that I'm flatulence-free, I keep thinking "Pull my finger" is the set-up line for a "Knock, Knock" joke.
07. Pat your pockets to show they're empty. Then add, "See! I am NOT hiding any Weapons of Mass Destruction."
06. Wave your finger back and forth in a gesture of strenuous objection. Then announce, "Sorry, with what they're charging now at the pumps, the days of free gas are over."
05. In one quick motion, jump to your feet and throw your hands up in the air. After a pause, ask: "So what do you think? I've replaced the usual fireworks with The Wave, or what I like to call a 1-Person Wavelet."
04. Make a puzzled frown and then yank your finger yourself. When nothing happens, lower your head sadly and sigh: "You lose your hair; you lose your looks and now this. Where will it all end?"
03. Rub your chin thoughtfully and say: "Instead of the usual childish response to this action, I asked myself, 'What would Dr. Phil do?' And so I've given up on passive aggression."
02. Wink slyly and say: "You can get me to stop breaking wind in public, but you'll never get me to stop giving people the finger."
01. Give a "Two Thumbs Way Up" sign. Then say: "This 'Clear the air, not the room' philosophy is a vast improvement over my last one. Somehow, the "I stink; therefore I am" philosophy doesn't win you a lot of friends."